At tumigil ang mundo.

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Adminisk8or

04/10/2023

I can safely say it's pretty wild week in a number of ways... I suppose I may as well get the photo subject out of the way, first.

In my line of work, my days vary pretty greatly- sometimes I'll be working, sitting at a desk, and sometimes I'll be onsite at a client's. On Wednesday, I was indeed onsite, and was trying to figure out why two buildings weren't connecting their networks. I finished doing what I could for the day, and took off Northbound on the freeway. I was in stop-and-go traffic, when I noticed I had foolishly left my USB-C hub/dongle on my windshield, and quickly grabbed it from my window. I carried in and finally got out of the slow traffic, just in time to think to myself, "...wait... if my dongle was on the windshield, do I have my Mac...book... OH-" (And here's where you insert the "It was at this moment he knew he f'd up" quote). I got off on that very same exit I was nearing and turned back South at a fast pace, fearing the worst. The good news was that my MacBook didn't make it to the freeway- heck, it didn't even technically make it to the main road- but it definitely made it to the curb, where I then proceeded to run over it in my search to find it. The remarkable thing about it is, despite the fact it got warped out of shape, and the screen was as effective as a U.S. politician, the device itself mainly stayed in shape and still ran just fine! (again, barring the screen working, but still!). But it was probably the most sheepish moment I've had since wrecking my parents' car, to walk into work the next day and declare to my manager that I ran over my MacBook.

The weather this week was a continuation of many bitter winter storms, trying desperately to cling on with gauntlets of iron. But to everyone's amazement, today, being Easter Sunday, the weather was exceedingly pleasant! As in, t-shirt weather! It's just such an odd feeling walking outside in a T-shirt and seeing the surrounding slopes and landscapes still fairly snow clad, but feeling the warm sun beat down. And on that note, it's surely only a matter of time before flooding becomes a real sight to see around here, I'm sure. Just a night or two ago, we drove over to a nearby waterfall that is usually either mild or non-existent, and to our amazement, it was not just crashing down, but honestly roaring! And the river below was exceptionally torrential and wild, and very high. It's gonna be interesting.

Oddly enough, I think my most insightful insight this week comes from food poisoning. Last night was... miserable, to say the least, but I was thankfully fine, this morning... after a little more misery. But that misery tormented my dreams just a little, as being ill sometimes does- and the dream I had last night included me playing a 2D Gameboy game (and of course, I was in the perspective of being in the game I was playing), which looked a good deal like the original Zelda, but was just me in some hallways and rooms in some building somewhere, and I was exploring. But if I stayed in a room too long, some subtle but sudden and very eerie music started to play, as a weird bird creature would suddenly come out of nowhere and try to get me. And I had to look it up, because it's been AGES since I read this Dr. Seuss book, but this birdlike creature (although the graphics made it look VERY basic), was actually the Jibboo from Oh The Thinks You Can Think. Now it's rather amusing, that such an image came back to haunt me years and years after I'd practically forgotten about it (almost as amusing as the fact that my first waking moments of Easter were spent watching Grinch Night, a HALLOWEEN special), but then I thought about why, and there lies a fascinating lesson that I occasionally forget the effect of- and that is not knowing things.

So often, in horror or suspense games, programmers and game designers make the rookie mistake of not just utilizing, but heavily leaning on jumpscares to create their atmosphere. And yet, here I was in this dream, playing this 2D game, seeing this almost indescribable character on my screen, and feeling that feeling you had when you were much younger, watching a scary scene: "Ohhh, ohhhh, get out of there, get out of there before it sees you, ohHHHH!" You remember that feeling? And in my case, it was from this figure who was not only very unrecognizable in his 8-bit form, but whose profile we never get to fully see in the source material. The best view we get of the Jibboo in that Dr Seuss book is from behind, and with heavy shadows.

It probably goes without saying for most, but this vantage, this perspective (or lack thereof), which is the lack of ability to fully know or see the thing that slightly unsettles you is probably the strongest tool in the toolbox of fear. What's scarier- being told a 7 foot monster with horns and nine eyes is coming to your house tonight at 9 PM sharp, or accidentally overhearing that some strange spectacle was seen last night at your back door, but no one could quite make out what they (or it) looked like, or how large it was, where it came from, where it went, or if they even saw it right at all? Obviously the latter! Disconcerting imagery and sounds can be scary, but the far more effective fear-weapon is uncertainty.

And I think that teaches us two lessons which are two sides of the same coin. On the one hand, not knowing all the details and only seeing things from an imperfect perspective is what gives mysteries their edge, and honestly adds excitement and wonder to life, because these things can really stir our imaginations for the better! On the other hand, it's an accidental but perfect glimpse into the enemy's plans. In matters where knowing truths, or at least knowing truths better is a matter of eternal significance, the enemy of your soul, the demons around you, whatever you want to call it- these dark forces are perpetually trying suggest things that lead to more confusion, more uncertainty- because they are truths or things that seem appealing, but they play a deadly role in our minds, because they cloud out the clearer truths that are often found in the less likely places, and which better answer the confusing questions of life. Maybe I'm speaking in riddles here, but I'll just leave it at the Biblical refrain of "if any man have ears to hear, let him hear".

And in that light, I hope you recognize the uncertainty in your life and isolate those fears. For me, the end-all for many of my fears is that I know we're all being watched over, and that however grim things get in life, the other side of the great chasm of life is practically the difference of night and day. And on that note, I've rambled enough. Until next time, see ya!