It was a tossup between this and a few others, but the view of the desert from this mountain won.

When we can't see beyond the bushes...

Adminisk8or

09/18/2023

Before this summer dies out totally, I guess I had to get a few more fun licks in.

One very accomplishing thing I finally got done this week was setting up my own self-hosted mail server! This is something I've been putting off on my backburner of things to do for almost two years, now- and out of the blue, I finally got it working correctly! Mail protocols and delivery is not quite so simple as most other services, as it turns out.

I also had the fun opportunity to both perform and mix at an event this week. My company was hosting a party, and arranged for some music- and one of those numbers included me, singing and playing sax in a blues rendition of House of The Rising Sun. It was fun! I then mixed audio for the rest of the performance, which included a local blues band- and I've never had a harder time getting a lead singer to be heard, ever. I had to constantly man the gain dial and turn it up everytime sound came out of his mouth, and turn it back down when it stopped, just to avoid feedback. But it was fun. Over the weekend, I went camping out into a place I had never ventured, a good few hour drive from home, but secluded quite well deep into the mountains. I went with my wife, brother, brother-in-law, and mother-in-law, and the trip turned out to be quite fun! The drive up was lovely enough, but the campsite we managed to snag was downright beautiful! We were sequestered in a forest of lovely, tall trees, with a nice fire ring, table, and a sloping hillside that led down to the pristine, clear waters below. During the day, the lake was clear, glassy and tranquil- but by night, it was arguably even more incredible. You could see many stars reflected in its surface- and you could see A LOT of stars in the sky! It was grand. And cold. It was over 10,000 feet in elevation. Perhaps the most adventurous moment this week was pretty spontaneous. I had to travel a good ways out of town to fix something at one of our client's locations, and ended up finishing earlier than planned. While I was in the area, I decided to do some offroading, as the mountainous but also sometimes flat desert terrain seemed to really call for it. In fact, after some basic stuff, I looked up a nearby ghost town and mine shaft, and headed out that way. The town, sadly, was gated off by the mining company who bought it- but the mining chute was on an offroad out of town- so I followed that road! It was a two-mile stretch, and for every inch of that rocky, overgrown road, it was evident not many people took it in the last year or ten. But it was traversable- and traverse it I did. The first mile and a half was the perfect amount of challenging- just enough thrill to keep it interesting, but not so rough as to make me want to turn back. Then came the last half mile. It was a slope, probably roughtly 60 degrees, of loose rock. I tried climbing it briefly, but gave up after the first lurch, as I didn't want to make any unnecessary risks in the middle of nowhere on my own, with nobody knowing my whereabouts.

But I noticed I was only a half mile away from this chute. So, seeing as how the road was quite forsaken, I turned off my car and left it parked right there on the rock slide. I had ZERO room to turn the thing around or pull off for the space of about a quarter mile, so it's not like I had much of a choice. I hiked up the remaining rockslide and got to the top of this mountain. It was exhausting, and there were many car parts strewn about here and there on the way up- which was a good indicator to me that I made the right call leaving my car where I did. I then tried following various paths that presumably led to the chute, but each one began leading me away from the location on Google Maps. Eventually, I decided to bushwhack my way through the sage and bushes to get to this place. I had done so for about the length of a quarter mile, when I noticed it was leading me down the other side of this mountain. Seeing no signs of the mine, I decided to give it up, and make for my car. The combination of distant thunderstorms, no self defense in case of a mountain lion, and the fact that I left my windows down were starting to press on my anxiety of returning to the car. Tragically, I would go on to later realize I was a mere 200 feet away from my destination. Still, given my circumstances, I made the best choice I could.

And therein perhaps lies the most important lesson I had to learn this week. Sometimes we (and by we, I mostly mean I) try so hard, when I have a choice put before me, to study it out carefully and try to take the best advantage of how to tackle it. But sometimes, we don't get all the information, and we are left merely with limited knowledge on how to proceed- in fact, I'd argue that's pretty much the story of every choice we are given, to one degree or another. I have such a habit of wanting to try to optimize my work around me so much, that sometimes I unnecessarily sacrifice things I shouldn't, just for the sake of trying to hit two birds with one stone. It's hard to describe exactly what I'm trying to convey, but I think maybe you have some idea of what I'm talking about?

The point I'm getting at is, sometimes we have to use what limited knowledge we have- though it might be very unideal- and run with it. In my case, and in many other cases, I made the best choice I could at the time- and yet, in retrospect, it's not the choice I would've made had I known more. That can easily lead to feelings of regret or failure, and understandably so- and maybe I have no cure-all answer-all solution to that... but for me, over these last few years, I've learned more how to not reject these feelings of regret and failure, but accept them as a natural and normal part of life. Sometimes it still gets to me, and I start getting in a tizzy, feeling like a moron, and even getting angry and upset about it. But at the end of the day, as the old saying goes, if I had a nickle for every regret in my life, boy would I be a rich fella!

That's life. Sometimes you don't get to see beyond the next bush. You were right there, a literal stone's throw away from the answer you were wanting, but in a move inspired by wisdom, you walked away from it- maybe even forever. It may be that I'll never end up returning to that offroad trail and finding that mining chute- and yeah, there's a small part of me that rejects that, and fears the idea of missing out on something cool- but then, it's important to remember: life goes on, and it holds more adventures and strange, new discoveries for you. So, don't be afraid to make a choice you feel is right, but could lead to regret. Or, at the least, get used to it!

Until next week, see ya!