Evening at camp by the river, after the rains came through and made everything all the more green.

What goes up ... must look forward til tomorrow.

Adminisk8or

08/20/2024

You let two weeks go by, and both the most amazing things and the worst things in awhile manage to come all out of the blue. Perhaps I should begin with the good- always a classic move, right- breaking the good news, first?

Well, I not only sang a duet that went really well in a large church even last weekend, but this last weekend, I got to sing at an acapella convention in a chorus- and it was really fun! I practiced well enough that I didn't totally screw up my part- which is good, considering I was one of the only tenors.

Besides music, there were two camping experiences, which were both awesome. On the one hand, I got to spend a few days camping alone with my wife, and the place we went is normally booming with activity and fully of people, but with school starting up, it was practically a ghost town. Though, it did rain on us for a good portion of the time we were there, but having setup a walled canopy, being under that shelter while the rain pounded down around us, and the river swelled, and the thunder roared and lightning flashed- it was truly a scenic and pretty place to be. But if you think that was scenic, just wait until you hear about my expierence about two nights prior.

I went up into the backcountry hills to camp with my friends, and we had a nice evening; it was Sunday, and we knew the Perseids meteor shower was due to come that night. Sure enough it did, and we saw many a shooting star in that dark and pretty place. But as midnight drew nigh, we noticed the north horizon seemed to not be getting quite as dark as we expected... in fact, it even started to look a bit ambient. And before we knew it, we were looking at the northern lights- no warning, no rhyme or reason- just suddenly there and visible! The shooting stars were a treat enough, but to add aurora borealis to the mix was just out of this world! The fact that later that early in the wee hours of that morning a rainstorm would literally chase us back home didn't even bother me so much, because I was still still starstruck- maybe physically? I guess that would probably make me dead, so maybe not quite.

But as the famous old philosophy claims, "what goes up must come down". And it really came down.

I won't divulge details and names, because I have respect enough for the people involved- and what respect I lack I make up with in kingly conduct. Suffice to say, somewhat out of the blue, I've been thrown brick at work, in the which I've been told I can't take any more time off- which was not an issue at all until it suddenly was. And you may think that's not so bad, but I work for a company that proudly prioritizes "humanized PTO"- and when I'm suddenly told mid-July that I only have 5 days left to take, and I haven't put all my summer time-off requests on the calendar, you can see why my plight has suddenly become pretty bleak. And like I said, I won't dive into details- not only for the sake of privacy and respect, but because the details are fairly mundane, anyway. But with all said and done, now, I have come to the realization that I think the winds are shifting, and, as our good friend Glenn Shorrock of the LRB would say, "I know that it's time for a cool change". It has unfortunately become somewhat obvious to me, at this point, that my outstanding good features are no longer being appreciated over very occasional communication issues that are now past.

Even now, I can't deny how much I want to share some of the petty and demeaning things that have been said to me and the gas lighting that has happened- truly, it's enough for me to sit, sigh, and shake my head, and wonder how people could let their big heads get the better of them this way. But it's such moments as these I remember some of the most virtuous and godly advice I think I've ever read for when great wrongs happen. C. S. Lewis said, "No warrior scolds. Courteous words or else hard knocks are his only language." And there it is that I must stand my ground with silence and patience- not because I lack the power or ability to argue and get my way- but because I'm afraid that I perhaps could.

As of late, I've become rather enveloped in the idea of the 7 knightly virtues, and moments like today have really brought them to the forefront of my mind. If I may, I want to share them, along with my particularly personal view on each:-

-- Courage- not to be bold and fight and get my way, but to take the adventure that is given me and know that some sacrifices must be made for greater good.
-- Justice- an eternal truth, which reminds me that I cannot wrongly judge someone, when I often have the same weakness, myself- and that I cannot simply excuse myself for my shortcomings and mistakes, and then expect others not to do the same. Meanwhile...
-- Mercy- the other side of the scale which must be perhaps my greatest weapon- because though I never really carry a sword at my side, my tongue is all so much the sharper and dangerous, and liable to forget if I do not keep it in check.
-- Generosity- not always in finance or in literal gifts, but that I can give of my time, my talents and my love and whatever wisdom I may possess- that is a noble thing. Speaking of noble...
-- Nobility- not the idea of being high and mighty, nor of esteeming myself greater (or even lesser) than others, but that I always remain unchangeable in my values, and do not falter when the going gets rough.
-- Faith- to never give way under the stress and strain of the daily grind, nor of hard times; I must always stay true to myself and my purposes. And lastly-
--Hope- unless I have hope- faith in good things to come and hope for a better world and a brighter day- then all my other virtues of of little worth. And I must share that hope- even if I ride alone.

And that's been my comfort and my stay during these hard days. I know if I stay true to myself and try my best to do good, that everything will turn out alright. Even with days like today- where I was practically surrounded by doom and uncertainty, and with courteous words and offers that mask seemingly haughty and proud intentions- though I was pretty uncertain and even timid, I was not truly afraid. As I tink about it, there's a hymn, which for years I took for granted because of the simplicity of its message and even its tune- but in moments like these, somehow the words come to me so much more inspiring and comforting than ever-

Do what is right; be faithful and fearless. Onward, press onward, the goal is in sight.
Eyes that are wet now ere long will be tearless. Blessings await you in doing what's right!
Do what is right; let the consequence follow. Battle for freedom in spirit and might;
And with stout hearts look ye forth till tomorrow.
God will protect you; then do what is right!

Especially the chorus of this has really stuck out to me- do what is right; let the consequence follow. How many times have I thought that if I do what's right that everything will be sunshine and rainbows? Too many- because all to often, it's not- or at least not immediately. But the following lines are reassurance in spite of it: and with stout hearts look ye forth till tomorrow. Stout hearts- I really like that phrase... it's certainly easier said than done, I'll readily admit- but the reminder that we can look forward to tomorrow with faith and good hope- that's what really, truly keeps me going.

I apologize if this all sounds like a self-righteous rant, for that's not what I would mean it to be. If anything, I hope whoever reads will in fact apply these principles and things to themselves, and find the knightliness and kingly nature that lives within themselves- for I truly believe it does. And on top of it, I hope that any out there who are having a much, much worse time than I currently am (and there are certain to be no shortage of those people), it is my good hope that you find it within yourselves to look forward til tomorrow with stout hearts, and to start now and do what is right!

Until next time, see ya!