And I though last week brought up nostalgic memories; that was nothing like the wall of bricks that hit me this week when I was out on the job. There I was running errands, and I before getting in my car, I look off to my right and see something I had long since put out of my mind- the green banks next to the river where I would play while my mom would pay the water bill at the city office. I suppose I felt like Scrooge as he was brought back to his long-forgotten childhood memories; I trod silently and yet happily towards the bank, and though I could remember no big distinct memory, I remembered all the details- the smell of the autumn leaves; the tall, protective trees; the little sticks I would find on the ground and pick up, pretending they were weapons. It was all within the furthest reaches of my mind, but it was a fun, albeit brief revisiting of a place with an oddly strong childhood connection.
Anyways- the snows have finally hit, here. It officially feels like Christmas to me, now. Ah, Christmas. And I'll be the the first to admin, I'm a good love of good Christmas music. Emphasis on good. I view the presence of "Pop" in Christmas songs the same way I view using water when cooking rice. If you have too little, it can be a little dry; but there's a fine line you don't want to cross or else it's all just mush. To be more honest and specific, I just dislike the commercialization of it all, and when content is pushed out with no heart or thought put into it, just for the intent on gaining popularity and money. But that's a rant for another day.
Man, I get off track. What I was going on about was that I love, like, a whole heckin' lot of Christmas songs. If you asked me my favorite one, I could only give you a top 5 at best, probably. But each song has beauty in its own context, and shines more brightly in a given moment than another might. For example, Handel's Messiah is a fantastic and beautiful work of art, and I believe it's even some of the most pure heaven-sent inspiration. But sometimes, I just fancy a different musical mood over something even as awe-inspiring as the Hallelujah Chorus. And this week, there was one song I was listening to that reached me- just slightly more than it had ever done, before- and part of it was due to the passage of time.
I'm sure I've mentioned one of the lower points in my life on this blog somewhere. It was a very emotionally (and even physically) trying time on the other side of the world; and as I was spending my first Christmas in the midst of these trials, away from home, with no familiarity about me, the song "Homeless" by Michael McLean reached out to me kind of specially. I wouldn't say it was the life-changing song that turned it all around or anything, but it brought some comfort in a time where I felt melancholy, and like I had no reason left to keep going. I was reminded, in a moment when I felt homeless in my heart, that as I sat in my imaginary, empty, dirty street, there was another beside me; he didn't boast of his own story, but rather, he sympathized and comforted me in my situation that looked rather attractive compared to his lot. And as I was driving around this week, as I heard that song play again, I was brought back to that time when I felt so alone.
I don't think there's a single person in the world who doesn't experience such feelings of loneliness and being forsaken. And yet, no matter how common it may be, it's no less difficult to get through. And so, this season, whoever might be reading this, rather than go on about the stories of my trials and troubles, I hope I can be there to comfort someone else by stopping and listening on their road to Emmaus. Heaven knows needed someone to listen.
So, this week, remember, no matter how bad things have gotten, at the very heart of it all, "Like the Christ child was, we are not homeless . . . there is a home . . . he went to prepare a mansion for us there".