It's been another week in paradise, honestly. It's had its challenges, but it's also been fun. Honestly, I feel like there isn't much to talk about in my life events... but I did gain some interesting insight this week. Even in many Christian circles, the story of Saul (in the Old Testament) isn't talked about all that commonly. That's with good enough reason, as it's kind of a downer story of a really good man who fell pretty hard. And while there's a number of things you could gleam from his overall story, there's one common theme I picked out: fear.
From the get-go, Saul seems like he was a pretty choice dude. He became the first king of Israel and went on to wage some victorious wars. But like I said, it's followed by unfortunate downfall, and if you look at where that begins, I think starts in 1 Samuel 13:8-14. He and a host of men were in a bit of a pickle with the Philistines chasing them. Saul was waiting for Samuel, a prophet, to show up and bring Godly help. But when Samuel was running late, although it wasn't given him to do it, he performed a burnt offering himself. Now, looking at that on the one hand, that seems like an admirable effort and even a faithful task; but taking a closer look, it's unfortunately just the opposite, in Saul's case.
In the continued readings of Saul's experiences, it becomes more clear that this act was not done with hope and faith, but with fear. Saul become too anxious to wait for the right time to do the right thing, and in consequence, not only did Samuel foreshadow his downfall, but he began walking a path that would ultimately lead him that way. I read the words of Samuel in verses 13 and 14, and if I were in Saul's shoes, I feel like those would be very hard words to hear. His further experiences lead him down a continual path of doubts and fears. In chapter 16, he takes on David as a musician to bring peace, because he starts feeling continual fears and worries. Chapter 18 is then full of the sad tale of his growing distaste and frankly evil hatred towards David, because he begins to fear losing what he already has as a king. Really, the only good moment we read about him after that experience was when David said he would fight Goliath, and Saul saw that David had faith and hope of his own, and trusted that.
Indeed, it's no particularly happy tale to read about. But then, why do I bring it up? I talk about it, because I, also sometimes find myself walking that path. There I am, a prosperous, happy person; then, one day, I start to think about a goal I'm working towards, and it seems like it's somehow even farther away than last I gauged it. And fear begins to set in, and perhaps I try taking steps- steps that I should wait to take, but I become anxious and ignore the danger signs. And naturally, it results in me putting myself even further away from the goal I wanted to reach. Sound familiar?
Or how about when you were entrusted with some important task- perhaps not like that of kingship, like Saul was, but an important task or status, nonetheless- and then an unforeseen mistake happens- whether it was your fault or not- and you sense people's confidence in your leadership has decreased. And because of this, you begin to second guess yourself in many things, and lose the confidence you once had. Not to use an overused expression... but we have to say it together: These things just happen, sometimes. But you have the chance to see what Saul didn't seem to be able to grasp- and that's redemption.
It's easy to let fear start driving us when one thing goes wrong- that's just how our human nature works. But that's too easy, and it will only cause pain for others, and especially for yourself. And I may not know you at all, but I'm going to go out on a limb and say, I'm guess that you've had enough of that in your life. So, when something goes awry this week, whether it's a ketchup stain on your shirt, or your whole town catches on fire, it's okay to feel despair when these things happen- but don't stay in that moment. Let yourself move on to more important things that are far more worthy of your time. Take your fear, change it into motivation, and let it move you to find a solution to the problem- even if it takes a thousand tries.
You'd think I would've had a lot to talk about, it being summer and all, but I guess that's just life for me. Until next week, press on to your goals!