And a week isolated went by like that. The first few days were pretty miserable. Aches, chills, tiredness, and yet (because of the aches), a certain inability to sleep.
But for a man with Covid, I sure did end up getting a lot done. I put my back porch back together, after the landlord had the back decks renovated. I finally got around to figuring out how to setup Home Assistant. I have a lot more to do in order to truly abandon the Google Home devices I'm currently stuck with; but this was a big move in the right direction, and I would highly recommend anyone who is becoming wary of big corporations gathering your data look into it. It's actually pretty easy to stand up, compared to most networking projects I've taken on.
But the real action this week didn't come from any of that. It didn't even come from the CAT5e cable that got fried due to rain- though, that's an interesting story. My main even this week, in my mind, was my wife. She went in for a dental surgery, and because timing is a real son of a gun, I couldn't take her, since I had Covid. So, my mother opted to help out for that, to her kind credit. She brought her in, stayed the time, and brought her home when it was done, with all the instructions we needed to keep her well. As you might well guess, she was pretty loopy upon getting home, and we sent her straight to the bed to rest and recover.
I went in every 20 minutes to change the ice over; and at first, that went fairly normally. But after like the third time, I went in and noticed she was drooling, and there was a little blood in it. That was naturally to be expected, even if a little less than appealing to look at. But then, when she talked to me, I noticed her mouth and teeth seemed a good deal more bloody than I would've expected. Still, I wasn't assuming anything much. Then she used a tissue to wipe away some of it. And then she started spitting it out in the trash can. And THEN I was beginning to panic- well, internally. On the outside, despite what I thought I looked like, apparently I kept my cool pretty well, according to my wife (but then, she was drugged... so, who knows). After a call and a text to the dentist's office, my mother kindly brought her back in so they could add another stitch and make sure she was fine. And thankfully, since then, she has been.
But I will be frank and honest in saying this, however personal a thing it is to me- I was afraid. My fear might not have been fully rational in that moment, but I had a fear hit me that, if I didn't do something fast, she could be in mortal peril. I don't know if I ever felt a fear quite like that hit me, before. I have this funny feeling it's only a matter of time, when we have children, that the same feeling will come back to haunt me when one of our kids does something really stupid and puts their life in danger. If their my kids, it's pretty much inevitable. But it was a good reminder, that, however often I talk from my armchair about facing fears, it's never as simple or easy as it sounds. The fact is, fear is fear- and asking someone to just stop feeling an emotion is about the same thing as asking a bird to stop flying midair. Not only is it a silly notion, but frankly just downright unhealthy and unreasonable.
So, if you are going through a hard challenge right now, or if you are facing a fear, either simple or insurmountable, I want to add in my vote of confidence to you and say, I kind of understand what you're feeling a little. And I don't think you're silly to feel that way. All the same, I hope you find a light to vanquish them, and make it out of your troubles.
Until next week, see ya!